Friday, 8 June 2012

Help! I shrunk my wardrobe!

My wardrobe is having a malfunction. I’m not sure who or what is to blame but I can’t get into any of my clothes. I’ve listed out the possible culprits below and I'd like your help to find the guilty one. 

CULPRIT 1: Are my washing machine programmes too harsh? Some of the programmes take over an hour of swishing and whirling. It can’t do the clothes any good at all.

CULPRIT 2: Could it be the fault of the tumble dryer? I can’t deny that the tumble dryer is getting more than its usual amount of use lately. I know that tumble drying is bad for the environment but it just won’t stop raining and we have a rather inferior whirly-gig washing line that only dries a couple of items at a time. [I think I’ve finally convinced Mr A that he has to give over a little of his precious garden so I can have a decent washing-line like I used to have before we moved into this garden… I mean house. We did choose the house because of its garden!]

CULPRIT 3: Is it the quality of the clothes in the shops? There was a time when you could always rely on certain brands of clothes. Those were in the days when they were made in England and had the St Michael’s label on them. In fact, a lot of them were made round the corner from where I grew up in Leicester. These days I don’t think any of the clothes are UK-made and I’m sure that the quality has suffered as a result.

CULPRIT 4: Or is it... *hesitates to mention this item as it's so unlikely* could it possibly be... middle–age spread? In the unlikely event that this turns out to be the culprit does it mean that I should be going for the larger sizes even though I’ve been buying the same size of clothes for over 30 years?

So, which is it to be? Do I need a new washing machine, should Mr A be giving over some of his garden for a clothes line, should I start buying my clothes elsewhere and break the clothes-buying habit of a lifetime or am I getting fat? 

Please think carefully before you answer!!!


  1. Oh, dear! This is a toughie, one for Miss Marple. But, hmmm, is it possible to get one of those stretch/collapsable clothes lines that attach to the house? I had one and it worked. I've read that there's a monster in the dryer that eats socks. The washer, hmm, don't know. But, no, you're not getting fat. Cut back on a few things now and you'll be just fine. (Oh, but I hate giving up bread!)

  2. There is a clothing virus making the rounds that shrinks material.

  3. There's a wardrobe bug around - definitely. It's been at mine too!

  4. Yes Ros you are getting fat stop blaming inanimate objects! You are not the only one I had been the same weight and size for years aand years and now the needle on the scales just keeps moving upwards.I even bought a new set of scales thinking the ones I had were broken but sadly no I am getting heavier. I need to eat healthy and cut out the crap. So are you up for a healthy eating buddy? We will tell the truth to each other about what we really eat and get down that dress size.I need to drop a dress size for my holiday at the end of Aug or my clothes wont fit.

  5. The first three are definite culprits. So you need clothes and a washing line and a new machine.

    As for the middle-aged bit - my experience is that somehow gravity asserts itself. Everything north of my waist collected round my middle, the rest is making its way to my ankles. So it's not fat - it's simply a rearrangement of what's there anyway. (Sorry, this is probably your least favourite option ... but it is an excuse for more clothes!)

  6. I couldn't possibly comment. Other than to type one word. CAKE.

    Keep smiling, its the weekend.

  7. Well, obviously, it must be a technical issue with one of your machines. That's the only possiblity!

  8. There was a great web site I found, and then forgot to bookmark, where you typed in your measurements and it told you what size you are in different shops.

  9. If it's the same answer as mine I will keep my mouth

    Have a good week-end.

  10. Hi Ros .. everyone's come up with such sensible ideas - you definitely need new technical things .. or perhaps a seamstress to add in a side panel?! Such a pain this spreading .. more striding out and stretching up I suspect is needed .. or perhaps start training for the marathon?

    Cheers - enjoy your frugal food weekend??!! Hilary

  11. I couldn't possibly answer that one without seeming a bit rude! But they do say that things shrink over time?? Just maybe not quite how you'd want??? Just joking...

  12. Hi Kittie, I've never seen a stretch clothes line for outside before. I shall have to investigate (in true Miss Marple fasion)

    Hi Delores and Lizy, it sounds like a case for the old mothball attack then huh?!

    Hi Anne, well thanks for the blunt response. I said you were to think before you answered!! I may well be up for your offer of being a healthy eating buddy. Does it mean I have to eat healthy food though?!

    Hi Jo, don't talk to me about gravity! It's evil!

    Hi Maria, cake! Moi!? What are you suggesting?

    Hi Jemi, thank you for stating the obvious. It's the fault of the washing machine!

    Hi Annalisa, that sounds like a great site. Shame we don't know where it is. I can't work out what size I'm meant to be anyway!

    Hi Yvonne, silence is golden, eh?

    Hi Hilary, my Grandma and Great Auntie Alice would have fitted side panels into all my things. Sadly, and much to their disappointment, I didn't inherit their amazing skills.

    Hi Pat, *ignores innuendoes!!* it always amazes me when older items of clothes genuinely do shrink in the wash. Maybe they just give up on holding it all together. (I know the feeling!!!)

  13. It's the elves. They come in the night ans steal your clothes for their queen and leave smaller, inferior ones in their place. They used to do it with babies but people caught on to that because the changeling babies were so ugly.

  14. No need to think because the same thing has happened to me. It's the last one. Why oh why? When one has been slim one's entire life, why does the body suddenly expand? There is no logical reason. I'm waiting for mine to shrink again. Should happen any time in the next thirty years--one way or another.

  15. Too bad it's not cool enough outside to just wear comfortable stylish sweat suits, and just forget the whole thing! Oversized tops are another alternative, but you look great to me in your photo. All of the possibilities are funny, though you're probably being too hard on yourself. Julie

  16. Here's that link for dress sizes, Rosalind!!

  17. I think the mirrors are faulty too - surely I can' be THAT lined!


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