A Writing Exercise and Some Thoughts on Travel

Yesterday we had our second East Midlands Lapidus Therapeutic Writing Day. We seem to have hit on a winning formula here because the day was every bit as enjoyable, stimulating and worthwhile as was the first one.

I thought I’d share with you a little bit about one of the writing exercises that we did. It is something that anyone can try and is amazingly powerful, but to get the most out of it you’d need to grab a pencil and paper now, read the following instructions, do about 15 minutes of rapid writing and then return to my blog to read how I got on. If you linger to think about it then the spontaneity will be lost.

I shall pause now while you get yourself equipped.

Ok, the task is to write a letter (unsent) to thank someone from your past, someone who has had a significant effect on you, who has influenced you and maybe your life.

A second pause while you go and do it.

We didn’t discuss this exercise in any way before we started and yet we all chose a strong-minded woman to ‘receive’ our letters. I chose my Great Aunt who I’ve talked about here before so I won’t go into the details. I will, however, say that as an outcome of that writing exercise I was able to see how much more satisfied that generation were with ‘their lot’ than we are today. Is it because they had to fight to survive? In my Great Aunt’s case it was not only near starvation and subsequent immigration from Latvia in the early 20^th century but also evacuation during the 2^nd World War leaving the security of a Jewish, Yiddish-speaking environment for the life of a foreigner in Leicester, yet she never appeared to be dissatisfied. I feel truly humbled at that realisation.

Finally a note about the ups and downs of travelling: The session yesterday was in Melton Mowbray which is only about 17 miles from home but I made the decision to take the train rather than drive. (If I had a pound for every wrong decision I’ve made in my life I’d be rich indeed.) 

The bus journey from my house to the train station took twice as long as the train journey from Leicester station to Melton Mowbray. (The journey to the train station normally takes about 5 minutes.) It was an extremely frustrating journey. 

Having said that, travelling by train has advantages over driving. You meet interesting people, are able to watch the world in a voyeuristic way and arrive without shoulders glued to ears! (My usual position after driving unfamiliar routes – yes I know! That’s so ‘girlie’!)

Did you do the writing exercise? 

How did it go? 

Have you any such writing exercises you could share?

When Writing is Therapeutic

I love picking up a pencil and writing about nothing in particular. I never know what is about to emerge onto the paper. I only know that something always does. It's therapeutic. It's the kind of writing that is the absolute opposite of what I've been doing during this last year. My work cataloguing the local cemetery can't, by any stretch of the imagination, be called therapeutic. My parents and other family members are buried there, along with a number of dear friends. I've spent too much time immersed in grave stones. I need a break. I need to do some therapeutic creative writing.

I'm a member of Lapidus, The Writing for Wellbeing Organisation. The local East Midlands group fell into 'disrepair' several years ago so I decided that it was time to repair it. The first meeting of our newly formed East Midlands Lapidus Writing Group will take place this Friday 21st November in Leicester. If you live in the East Midlands and you'd like to join us then please get in touch with me or leave a message in the comments below and I'll get in touch with you.

Talking of comments, it is with some sadness and a lot of irritation that I've had to put comment moderation back onto my blog. Most people post comments that are helpful, friendly and relevant. Why do some people always spoil things? I'm receiving regular comments from people who want to sell me dubious items, want to offer me dubious jobs or - and these are the most confusing - comments that are nothing but a list of nonsensical words. Why would anyone waste their time writing that when they could be writing therapeutically instead?

If you're interested in therapeutic journal writing then I would recommend you visit Kate Thompson's blog called Therapeutic Journal Writing. It's packed with inspiring writing ideas.

Spring: A new beginning or more of the same?

Yesterday was the Vernal Equinox. We’re halfway between the shortest, darkest day and the longest, lightest one. We can say with confidence that it’s Spring, but is Spring a new beginning? It might be the time when flowers start to open but those buds have been growing for months. So where does our yearly cycle really begin? I’ve never understood why January 1st should be a new beginning. The Winter Solstice would be more logical, or even our birthday. If it comes to it, do we have a natural yearly cycle or are our bodies governed by a monthly cycle, or a daily one... or should we be ‘living in the moment’?

These were questions that I threw at yesterday’s local Lapidus group. We had gathered in Leicester and, although I was leading the session, I still had the day put aside as well-earned ‘me-time’. I had spent most of last week with Rod at the specialist unit of London’s Royal Free Hospital. They told us that his chemotherapy treatment is to be extended for another two months. I was ready for my ‘me-time’.

The group agreed that they were influenced by a yearly cycle but none of the ones I had listed out. It was the academic year, with the end of the long summer holiday marking a new beginning in many people’s lives. We talked about seasons having smells and tastes. Smells are so evocative. They can take us back to long-ago events from similar times of the year but these memories are often negative. Would it not be better to live in the moment? By all means plan and prepare for future events but why do many of us mourn for the past, worry for the future and ruin the present? (ok, ok, so I'm talking about myself here!)

At this point I introduced out first writing exercise. We chose one moment from that morning before we met and we followed a simple format of listing the senses. I love these group writing sessions. They always produce as many ideas as there are people in the group. Our chosen moments ranged from a precious early morning cup of tea to an uninhibited dance in a rain-drenched garden.

The poem The Art of Blessing the Day by Marge Piercy inspired us to write our own words of appreciation for the small things in life. We blessed just about everything from the smooth satin lining of a much-loved jacket to a nice cup of tea... I could take a hint. We stopped for tea, biscuits, news, gossip and general chatter. My me-time had once again turned into me/we/tea time. I created this phenomenon in an earlier post and firmly believe that we all need it every now and then.

Before we rushed back to the real world I read a piece from the Strictly Writing Blog. Guest blogger, Tara L. Masih, talked of her father’s advice to always put positive, beautiful images into our minds because images never leave us. Once our vision processes a scene or picture, it is stored in our subconscious forever. Tara likened our minds to one big filing drawer that stretches to infinity. This is why she tries to avoid graphic violence on TV and film, likes to garden, go to art museums, and explore different places and cultures.

As I was reading, the group were nodding in agreement. We don’t want to waste space in our mental filing cabinets on negative thoughts and so we gathered up some positive thoughts to take away with us, like the feeling you get when you’re lost in a good book, or when you see an amazing sunset. For me it was my day with the local Lapidus group which has now been filed safely away in my mental filing cabinet under the letter p for positive.

I don't believe in coincidences...

or do I?

I often start to say something to a friend only to hear them saying it first.

‘Creepy!’ I think. ‘Am I psychic or was that a coincidence?’

Surely the most logical explanation is that we spend a lot of time together and so have similar thoughts and experiences. Likewise a phone call from my mother will often coincide with me thinking that I really must ring her.

I would like to think that serendipity* is not a coincidence but some sort of divine intervention. When I first joined Twitter I tweeted just the once and my name was seen by the Chair of Lapidus. This is a lady who never normally uses Twitter but she recognised me and invited me to a local Lapidus meeting. It was fortuitous, serendipitous, and I’ve gained a lot from that reunion, but why should divine intervention be bothering itself with my Lapidus membership?

Can synchronicity* be explained in a logical way? Have you ever read or written a story only to see the same scenario reported in the news shortly afterwards? When I interviewed Pippa Goodhart last month she told me that she had recently read in the paper about an aristocrat whose wife had given birth to twin boys by Caesarean section and they had to decide which of the two should become the heir.

‘That was almost exactly the dilemma I'd put into my Cake Test story where triplet girls get muddled by the nannies and they have to devise a test to choose which of them would make the best Queen. Isn't life strange?’ mused Pippa and it gets stranger...

Several years ago I was sure that I heard a voice as the phone began to ring. It was my father-in-law’s voice. He’d been dead for many years but I heard him tell me that I was going to have to be strong. In the few seconds that it took me to answer the phone I became convinced that something must have happened to my mother-in-law. I was relieved to hear my best friend on the line but she had called to tell me that her husband had died and I really did need to be strong. So was this a coincidence, because I’m not sure how comfortable I feel about any alternative explanation?

And now I’m faced with another coincidence. Rod has just finished his 3rd month of chemotherapy to control his Amyloidosis. I said in an earlier post how well he was coping with the Melphalan and Prednisolone but that was before he developed blurred vision. Eye Casualty said that his optic nerve is inflamed. They sent him for an MRI scan, lumber puncture, field vision and all manner of tests. Last Thursday he saw an Ophthalmic Neurologist, a Neurological Ophthalmologist and a Haematologist. Three ologists in one day - is this a record? None of them could say what is causing it. It came on shortly after he finished his 2nd dose of Melphalan but apparently blurred vision is not a known side effect... and so it must be a coincidence, or is it?

If you’ve experienced a coincidence without a logical explanation then I’d love to hear about it. Please share it in Comments below.

If you’ve had any experience of Melphalan and blurred vision then we would both be interested to hear from you. If you don’t want to post a comment then I can always be contacted through my website at www.rkawriting.co.uk.

I get mixed up with these two words and so have put the definitions here for myself as well as for anyone else with a similar serendipity/synchronicity confusion issue.

* Serendipity: when events coincide with a positive outcome

* Synchronicity: when a series of coincidences appear to be related

Inspired - The word of the day

With thanks to Sheelagh Gallagher: Lapidus chair and host

An entire day spent with Lapidus members is inspiring. I want to share the buzz but I fear it won’t translate. You’ll have to seek out your local Lapidus group if you want to be so inspired.

Wendy French began the day with promises that this year Lapidus would be focussing on support for local groups.

So what do local Lapidus groups do?

There was a common theme coming from each group representative.

We support each other

The sessions are enjoyable

We share news and feedback on current projects

We are inspired

London and the South East:

Wendy French talked about their meetings in the Poetry Cafe, Covent Garden. How can you fail to be inspired in such a location? Each session starts with news and the sharing of experiences and then it's down to the important things like coffee and writing. Up to 20 members go along and any writing can be contributed to a joint creative journal.

Midlands:

The Midlands group usually meet in Nottingham. Sheelagh Gallagher described a recent meeting which involved a story teller and the chance to transform your life story into a fairy tale. Can I compete on the inspirational scale with a Leicester based meeting in the Spring?

South West:

Sue Sims spoke of their bi-monthly meetings in the Pierian Centre in Bristol, another inspiring location. In January Sue ran a successful workshop on free-fall writing and they too are creating a joint journal. They have plans to set up a project working with the homeless.

Wales:

Four people from Wales were so inspired by one of Victoria Field’s courses that they are now setting up a Lapidus Cymru group. Christina Evans described how they were brimming with ideas including an event at the Hay Festival and work in conjunction with the University of Glamorgan.

Scotland:

Lapidus in Scotland is the epitome of inspiration. Larry Butler told us how it began, pre-Lapidus days, with a Poetry Healing Project. Many successful projects, later they are now planning ‘Writing Your Self’ with special guest John Killick. They also have local group meetings which sometimes involve singing and singer/songwriters. Larry is a firm believer in the importance of song.

Hints to local groups

• Larry’s message is to ‘act local’. Meet round a kitchen table every few weeks, write, tell stories, drink, eat, be inspired.
• Sue’s advice is to avoid burn out, rotate the chair and share out responsibilities.

And then came lunch

Larry Butler led an after lunch session that began with candle-lit meditation, a communal song, an active game, and then a stream-of-consciousness writing entitled ‘What inspires us.’ The feedback contained as many answers as there were people in the room.

Please remember to send your inspiring thoughts to Sheelagh for the next Lapidus Journal

PLUS

Anyone who is reading this please feel free to share your thoughts on ‘what inspires you’ in the Comments below.

In an adjoining room Steve Dearden was running a workshop on funding for projects. Jane Reece attended this session and told me a little bit about it.

"Steve's workshop allowed us to talk about our ideas for projects and how we might approach funders and make effective applications," she said. "He reminded us to take control of our work by really identifying what our dreams were and aiming towards seeking support for them rather than tailoring our dreams to what we anticipate the funder might fund."

Yet another inspiring workshop. Why couldn't I attend both sessions... at the same time?

Kate Thompson ended the day with a cautionary session on looking after ourselves when working with groups or individuals. She talked of using the Journal Writing Technique for self-supervision. There are three stages:

• Writing/cathartic
• Reflecting
• Reading back and noticing what has been said

A well tried method is to write an unsent letter (one that is never ever sent).

After reading it through, respond to the following:

• When I read this I notice...
• I feel...
• I am surprised...

We finished Kate's session with a metaphorical Black Box. What is left in the Black Box when the day’s programme is over? My Black Box contains a pledge to plan a meeting in Leicester for the Midlands local group... and I hope it will be inspirational. Any interested readers please contact me.

A date for Lapidus/prospective members:

AGM April 17th at the Poetry Cafe in Covent Garden.

Please send creative writing ideas for the day’s programme to Wendy French

Submissions for Lapidus Journal

Please send proposals to Sheelagh Gallagher

What is Lapidus?

There have been studies to show that it can boost the immune system. It has helped soldiers in war zones. It has eased the mental pain for refugees and abused partners. It has helped sufferers to cope with the symptoms of asthma and rheumatoid arthritis. There are no side-effects and it’s cheap and widely available. All you need is a pencil and paper. I’m talking about therapeutic writing.

Lapidus is an association that promotes the therapeutic benefits of both writing and reading. It provides valuable support not only to practitioners but also to writers, librarians, social workers, in fact any interested person.

I asked some Lapidus members what the association meant to them and thank them all for the following quotes:

“Lapidus for me is like Indra's net - the members are like jewels connected by the threads of language and every jewel reflects every other one.” Victoria Field

“...A community of people who believe in the transformational use of writing for a better self and world, creating inspirational spaces and ways in which to do that.” Jane Reece

“...A supportive group of people in sincere and joyous enquiry into an exciting fast developing field.” Gillie Bolton

“...The place where I find other people who believe in the therapeutic power of writing, where I meet my peer group of practitioners.” Kate Thompson

Lapidus has not only increased my enjoyment of writing and changed the direction of my career, it has also provided me with a lot of good friends. In fact, friendship is the common theme in all the quotes above, a warm community, a supportive group, jewels connected by a thread of language.

Lapidus runs a series of Networking Days as well as an Annual Conference and it was at one of these Conferences that I heard about a three-day course being run by Victoria Field in Truro in 2007. It was a long way to go. I’m not much of a traveller but I’m so glad I went. I wrote about the course on my website in an article called 'Wearing Two Hats' so I won’t enthuse about that here. Suffice it to say that those three days gave me the confidence to approach Writing School Leicester and launch the successful Leicester Jewish Voices project. I’m so very grateful to Lapidus and Victoria Field for that. I blogged about the Leicester Jewish Voices project last month.

By far the most precious thing that Lapidus has given to me is the skill to open my heart to my notebook. It’s a simple skill but it took a series of workshops to enable me to get the full benefit of this sort of writing. I can now write what I truly feel and I regularly surprise myself with what appears on the page. Who needs Valium?

This Saturday 23^rd January 2010 there is a Networking Day in Nottingham. It’s called ‘Getting it Together’ and there may still be a few tickets left. If you’re interested and would like to go, please click on the Lapidus website for more information. If you’re interested and can’t go then I’ll be writing about the day on my blog next week so please visit me again.

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The Benefits of Blogging

When I tell people I'm writing a blog they ask if it has an ongoing theme. The answer is in the title. I'm writing in the rain. Blogging is helping me to stay focussed on my writing. It's true that the more you write, the more you write. My children's novel is coming along very nicely. I may even blog about it sometime soon.

Blogging is also my therapy. It allows me to write about my husband's hospital visits, especially the amusing bits, and his ongoing treatment for Amyloidosis. Chemotherapy creates a frightening mental picture. The reality is often not so scary. He's doing very well. He's just got back from walking the dog in the snow... not bad for a man in the middle of a course of Melphalan and Dexamethasone.

I'm planning a number of blogs for early 2010... in addition to my weekly musings of writing and life.

Blog plans for early 2010

• An interview with the successful children's writer, Pippa Goodhart.
  

• What Lapidus means to me, plus quotes from other Lapidus members. Lapidus promotes healing and personal growth through writing and reading. Have a look at their website.

• The making of a picture book, from my initial idea, to its publication by Franklin Watts, to the musical rap on Scholastic's website.

I've only been on the Blogger circuit for a comparatively short time but I'm loving it. I'm building up a list of blogs to Follow. Thank you for informing and entertaining me.

I wish everyone health and energy on this, the shortest, darkest and perhaps the coldest day of the year. It'll soon be spring... won't it?
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