My wardrobe is having a malfunction. I’m not sure who or what is to blame but I can’t get into any of my clothes. I’ve listed out the possible culprits below and I'd like your help to find the guilty one.
CULPRIT 1: Are my washing machine programmes too harsh? Some of the programmes take over an hour of swishing and whirling. It can’t do the clothes any good at all.
CULPRIT 2: Could it be the fault of the tumble dryer? I can’t deny that the tumble dryer is getting more than its usual amount of use lately. I know that tumble drying is bad for the environment but it just won’t stop raining and we have a rather inferior whirly-gig washing line that only dries a couple of items at a time. [I think I’ve finally convinced Mr A that he has to give over a little of his precious garden so I can have a decent washing-line like I used to have before we moved into this garden… I mean house. We did choose the house because of its garden!]
CULPRIT 3: Is it the quality of the clothes in the shops? There was a time when you could always rely on certain brands of clothes. Those were in the days when they were made in England and had the St Michael’s label on them. In fact, a lot of them were made round the corner from where I grew up in Leicester. These days I don’t think any of the clothes are UK-made and I’m sure that the quality has suffered as a result.
CULPRIT 4: Or is it... *hesitates to mention this item as it's so unlikely* could it possibly be... middle–age spread? In the unlikely event that this turns out to be the culprit does it mean that I should be going for the larger sizes even though I’ve been buying the same size of clothes for over 30 years?
So, which is it to be? Do I need a new washing machine, should Mr A be giving over some of his garden for a clothes line, should I start buying my clothes elsewhere and break the clothes-buying habit of a lifetime or am I getting fat?
Please think carefully before you answer!!!