Wednesday, 8 May 2013

Our Local Keep Fit Class

[I really did view this event but I’ve changed the location for the sake of dignity.]

Loud music roared out from our local church hall. 
I walked in through the graveyard to pry.
To coin an old phrase, it could waken the dead 
And in this place they had better not try.

I crept to the window to have a quick peek 
But a sign said, “All welcome. Come in!”
So I peeped round the door as the Lady Up Front 
Shouted, “Left, right and bend!” What a din!

I looked round the room at this new fitness group. 
Not one would see sixty again.
Each moved as if hearing a different tune. 
Each winced as a turn caused them pain.

The group were dressed up in all manner of clothes. 
Some wore jumpers, some even wore hats.
One lady wore gloves and a pair of suede boots, 
Then I looked at the exercise mats.

There was no way this lot would get down on the floor. 
If they did they’d need help getting up.
But the Lady Up Front didn’t give it a thought 
As she shouted, “Left, right, bend. Keep up!”

So this was our council’s new keep fit idea 
To stop old folk from turning to sloth
But I worried that rather than helping them live, 
They were likely to kill them all off!

[Many apologies if the fitness instructor or the group recognise themselves... but they do say that the ability to laugh at ourselves can be beneficial to health!]


  1. Great poem Ros you made me laugh out loud.Yes I too have peeped in on a group like this.

    1. I only dread the day we're part of that group!

  2. Lol, great poem. Although moving out of step with the music and everyone else completely sums me up when I take part in a class!

    1. I used to go to fitness class with a friend who had left/right issues. We kept bumping into each other... When we weren't falling about laughing that is!

  3. Love the poem.

    Hugs and chocolate,

  4. My aches and pains ache and pain me just reading this! I think it's a conspiracy! Good poem. I laughed!

    1. Great I made you laugh. Sorry if it hurt, Hap!

  5. What a fab poem, I can just imagine it!

    1. Like I said, it really happened like that.

  6. What fun ... well, fun to watch! Let's not think about the time when we might need such a group ... pass me the cake while I try not to think about that ...

    1. Certainly, Jo. Would that be the chocolate cake or the lemon drizzle?

  7. Oh lovely! I also had a good chuckle. It's good to know such groups exist, though. I might need one myself one of these days :-)

    1. PS Clever you for making such a great poem out of it!

    2. We all might need them one day!! I suppose that's what fuels the humour.

  8. Hi Ros .. I have to say I go to Qigong classes ... stretching out the old muscles - they help a lot. I'm about to go and start doing Pilates regularly ... just need to get this old bod into gear .. I suspect I fall into your oldies fitness sessions - but I wouldn't be wearing boots, or jeans ...

    No-one can see us ... we're upstairs overlooking the beach and the sea ... beautiful setting - except when lying down doing Pilates!!!

    cheers and a great poem indeed ... Hilary

  9. Excellent, this made my day. Thanks for sharing.


  10. very funny. I'm not over sixty yet, but this sounds like my kind of class. And yes, I'd always be going the wrong direction and groaning loudly.
    Great poem!!!!

  11. Great poem of a very realistic event. I have to chuckle as I recall a similar event. At swimming fitness about five years ago, I must have twisted my hips too hard underwater. I never returned and have been in pain ever since. The doctor advised me to stay away.

  12. I went to a yoga class many years ago
    but I quit and have not been back since
    I twisted my foot and displaced a bone -
    Just the thought of it now makes me wince.

  13. I started reading the blog during A to Z. Now I see what Anne meant about your poems!

    This one's great.

    Like Lizy, I tried yoga quite a while back but decided it wasn't for me.

    Did you decide to join the exercise class?

    A to Z lives on! - Liebster Award nominees
    The Daille-y News.

  14. Maybe we better stick with yoga classes?

  15. HI, ROS,

    This is so typical and so much truth behind the humor.

  16. What a great poem! I exercise at home, so I don't embarrass myself.