[I really did view this event but I’ve changed the location for the sake of dignity.]
Loud music roared out from our local church hall.
I walked in through the graveyard to pry.
To coin an old phrase, it could waken the dead
And in this place they had better not try.
I crept to the window to have a quick peek
But a sign said, “All welcome. Come in!”
So I peeped round the door as the Lady Up Front
Shouted, “Left, right and bend!” What a din!
I looked round the room at this new fitness group.
Not one would see sixty again.
Each moved as if hearing a different tune.
Each winced as a turn caused them pain.
The group were dressed up in all manner of clothes.
Some wore jumpers, some even wore hats.
One lady wore gloves and a pair of suede boots,
Then I looked at the exercise mats.
There was no way this lot would get down on the floor.
If they did they’d need help getting up.
But the Lady Up Front didn’t give it a thought
As she shouted, “Left, right, bend. Keep up!”
So this was our council’s new keep fit idea
To stop old folk from turning to sloth
But I worried that rather than helping them live,
They were likely to kill them all off!
[Many apologies if the fitness instructor or the group recognise themselves... but they do say that the ability to laugh at ourselves can be beneficial to health!]